Well, I am eager to write today.  Guess who I saw last night?  Not Angel Locsin in her ecstasic state ( a state under the influence of ecstasy) but the man of my dream....

    Oh please don't ever conclude that I am a gay.  It is the face of the man I saw in my nightmare who brutally murdered an old doctor.  He is a bit older but I can still  recognize his face...  the face of a murderer, blue eyes, probably in his late sixties, silver hair and beard, chubby face, and rosy cheeks (maybe because of alcohol intake).   I learned from Jenny (one of the GRO whom he picked up to table) that he is a British national and a doctor in genetics in Oxford.  He is here to deliver a conference or symposium in Manila Hotel about Cloning.  Jenny and I are in the same wavelength maybe because we are in the same situation... an ex-orphanage kid, struggling to live live outside the wall of the convent and free from the hands of the holies of the holiest (bullshit).

    I  don't know if it is really her real name because she is Amanda whenever she is with a customer.  Hah!!! the life of a whore... trying to make ends meet.  I can't blame her we are on the same boat. 

    Well, back to the guy, this old man awaken my curiousity to know him more... to make a total stranger to me like a childhood friend.  But one question is "What if I am a witness to that crime and he is looking for me and I am just in the state of amnesia."

    What do you think?  Lord please help me!!!

 

Hey! It's my birthday celebration. Who am I? Come to think of it. I've been living my eighteenth years in this universe and I can't seems to remember a thing they callled family. Did I have a father, a mother mayde, a sister or a brother? Is it really my birthday last tuesday? OK I am pressuring myself trying to think too much regarding many things... My birthday is on February 29, yes I grew older only during leap year but technically I celebrate it March 1. Mother Superior only said to me that it is my birthday on February 29 but I don't even have my certificate of birth to prove it. All I can think is I've been living in the halls of a covent my whole life before I even turn sixteen I've just run away from the place they called home for sixteen years but it was a hell for me two years ago.

I dreamt last night or should I say I had a nightmare. I woke up in the middle of the gasping for my breath. I can't understand my dream. It is a flashes of scenes; An old man, dressed in white like a lab scientist or a doctor was murdered in a cannibalistic kind of killing. They sack his blood with an injections and I can see the red liquid slowly pour on a vial and test tube and put it on a small refrigerator. A greybeard man, whose beard and hair is like a silver strands of wire but a piece of his flesh and put it on a small container. The Santa man is not dressed in red but also in white just like the man who is lying in the floor helpless and bathing in his own blood and all other people on my dream dressed the same just like bunch of doctor in white gown on “Spiderman 2” when they are trying to remove Doctor Octopus tentacles. The dream is just flashes and clips of scenes just like the one I saw on C.S.I. When they speculate a theory of a murder. But the one scene scare me most and find it disturbing and force me to wake up is when the beard man look at me with his blue eyes saying your next. His look suck every fear that is hidden in my body and the worst part is --- he seems familiar but I can't think of a man, a man I knew with that same exact face.